(winter '07) POLSON — There are “probably close to a hundred home schooling families in the Mission Valley,” said Connie Doty, organizer for the Mission Valley Home Educators.
The group, a fun and friendly collection of home schooling families from throughout the area, meets monthly for a potluck dinner and to share information and techniques. Typically, four to ten families come to the gatherings, but “they’re big families,” Doty said, smiling.
While many of the families are from Ronan, they meet in Polson, at a local church hall where there are opportunities to use the kitchen, bathrooms and separate meeting rooms for small group discussions.
At this meeting, about a dozen couples gathered, while children headed to an activity room for games and play, allowing the adults some quiet time.
There are as many reasons to home school as there are individuals, participants said. Some “just want to spend that one on one time” with their children, said Doty.
For others, it’s a religious decision. It “gives the kids moral training and a spiritual atmosphere in the home,” John Q. Doty said of his family’s incentive.
For some, it’s tradition. “I was home schooled my whole life, and I home school my six children,” announced Kirby Gilby.
Connie Doty added “We started hanging out with the home schoolers before we ever had kids, ‘cause we thought they were cool.”
And this group is definitely cool. These parents have bucked the public-school system for anywhere from a month to 12 years.
Some people are closed-minded about home schooling, Gene Conrad says. “They think we make our children recite three chapters of the bible before eating.”
But instead they think of the practical. “Just look at the teacher-student ratio,” Conrad says. “Things can be tailored to each child’s needs.”
Parents also relate that the children are not segregated by age group, and tend to get along better with a broader societal spectrum than kids confined to one grade level.
It’s not all serious here, though. There is lots of laughter, and while many of those present are moms alone (the dads must all be out hunting, or napping, they laugh) the couples that are present seem very devoted to each other. I sense it is this shared approach to parenting that makes these home schoolers so strong in their convictions.
This month’s meeting opened with announcements. Parents told of biology labs available for use, of sewing classes and art classes and volleyball and soccer. If you thought home schooled kids were sequestered and closeted, you’d be — like me — very wrong.
There’s even a reading-incentive program where the kids can win free pizza. The plethora of activities almost makes you want to be a kid yourself.
After announcements, the group divides: moms will discuss organization techniques while the dads will discuss the father’s role in home education.
I slip into the dad’s group, where I am amazed by the consciousness in what I hear.
“We have our children for a very short amount of time,” said Gene Conrad. “If they’re not equipped (with life skills when they leave us), we can’t help them like we can now.”
Fathers have a huge influence on their children, Rob Dursma added. He said the biggest help they can be is to be supportive of the moms. “The kids will see that,” he said.
Back with the moms, Dana Brown is demystifying clutter.
Clutter, she said, is lost time.
And she pours out a bag of random items on the table to prove it. A borrowed doll, an old newspaper, a sock, a book, some toys. The time you spend searching for pencils, backpacks, measuring cups is time not available to be with your children.
Much clutter is emotionally based, Brown stated.
“Sometimes we keep things because people give them to us.”
The solution: throw it out. Throw out games with missing pieces, broken toys, newspapers after you’ve read them. Throw out junk mail and worn out clothes. “Things are too easy to come by these days to hold on to things that don’t work, don’t fit, or have been outgrown,” Brown said. “I have never regretted getting rid of anything,” she said. “You have to restore a margin of space in your life.”
The moms share storage ideas, graphics of chore charts, approaches to getting their kids to do their work. They share curriculum reviews and the basics of home education, of how to conform to state law.
“The superintendent calls every year to ask if I’m going to home school,” Judy Smith says. “I just say yes.”
Robin Dursma was asked for attendance sheets, and a discussion ensues on what information must be recorded, and what reported.
Home education typically must mimic the public school’s schedule of 180 days or 1000 hours of instruction.
“I don’t feel I’m lying to say I home school 365 days a year,” says Doty. If the school district requests information, it must be turned in, we are told. But they don’t often request it.
Some parents keep grades; some do not. It’s not required.
Immunization is, but can be waived on religious grounds.
Doty said she rereads the home schooling law “two or three times a year” to be sure she is conforming to the requirements, and so she can better share with others the correct information of how to home educate.
The moms reflect on how their approaches work for them.
“I have kept grades all along,” Dursma says. “For me and my child I felt it was a good reference point, a visual to see that ‘in this area you have to work harder.’”
Julie Conrad said some of her kids have wanted grades, while others did not.
Talk moved to time management. Most families stay on a strict bedtime schedule, rising early to expand their days.
Melanie Mutchler said her 14 year old recently told her “I like it when we do the five o’clock thing, mom. My day seems so much longer.”
Robin Dursma said she’s been rising earlier, too.
“I didn’t drink coffee til I home schooled,” she quipped.
With the laughing response, others agree.
The meeting winds down with realism from the moms. Dana Brown remarks, “It doesn’t matter at what age the children learn something, as long as adults we can all communicate.”
“We’re teaching our children to never stop learning, and that we love learning,” Conrad adds.
The Mission Valley Home Educators will meet the first Friday of every month, in Polson at the New Life Christian Center. Potluck starts at 6 p.m., followed by a meeting/discussion at 7 p.m. All are welcome.
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